Ruler I Power: “For my brother A.G.”
10 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
Peace,
R.I.P
Allah God!
In my last post when I went through my 2011 recap, I mentioned that I lost my best friend on the wisdom power day of December. As that momentary reference didn’t scratch the surface of payin’ tribute to my brotha,’ I wanted to do so, or attempt to do so, within the vacuum that is this space. Naturally, there’s no way that I could possibly qualify approximately 25yrs of friendship in a couple of paragraphs. Even still, this is the science.
Adrian Goldwyn was manifested on this physical plane of existence understanding power years ago, somewhere between the wisdom cipher & wisdom understanding day of January…I always forget…as we got into our understanding ciphers we developed a rather cavalier attitude relative to born days. We went to the same grammar school but my earliest recollection of our friendship dates our history back to build build in the God grade. How we became cool I don’t exactly know. What I do know is that between build build & born cipher me, this nigga named Chris, who we used to call “Fatmack”, & A.G. ran together real thick. The primary science we dealt with was laughter. We laughed at any & everything…mostly each other. Every day after school once I found my little brother and Fatmack found his brother & sister, we would just hang out around the school buggin’ out. When we graduated from the build grade, A.G. went away to a high school in Wisconsin while I went to a school way out in the burbs. We kept in contact and would kick in the summers when he came home. His ole Earth owned the building they lived in along with the one next to it. During my sophomore year, in born wisdom, my family was between cribs and the apartment accross from them became vacant. We moved in & it was on!
The illest aspect of our friendship was that we went through so many stages of development together. We met as boys, transitioned to young men, & grew into men together. The summers of born understanding and born culture were crazy. We both had the crazy high-top fades and we learned to cut our own hair. He learned first & showed me the basics so once I got it down we were like fuck the barbershop. We used to cut our hair every Friday and put texturizers in…lol. That shit was the 90′s version of conk for real word is bond! We got pagers, schemed on wisdoms, started smokin’ weed and drinkin’ forties pretty much all at the same time. I know, typical 85 shit, but that’s what it was. We were just doin’ the type of bullshit young niggaz in C-Medina did. His ole’ Earth had a Chevy Celebrity & he would steal it when she went to sleep so we could sneak out. That nigga always had me doin’ some bullshit. His line was, “take a ride wit’ me dawg”…my reply would be “where we going dawg?” He would always just say, “don’t worry about it, just ride”…mind you he’d punctuate this with a devilish grin…lol.
In born culture we went away to college together at Southern Illinois University at Edwardsville. Allowing me & this nigga to go away to the same school was a decision that I’m sure at times our mothers found to be regrettable. To say that we kicked it is a gargantuan understatement! This was the point at which A.G. really came out of his shell & got comfortable in his own skin. We’re both aquarius’ and when we were younger he was shy, especially with wisdoms. Once we got to college that shit stopped at a terrific speed. When I say women loved this nigga I mean they fuckin’ worshiped the ground he walked on! He was a tall husky understandin’ seed with that wash n’ go hair that would get curly when he wet it. Put it this way, he smashed numerous wisdoms that wouldn’t even let me breathe on the mic and I have no qualms about admitting it…lol. I’m no slouch, but his stats put mine & most other niggaz to shame. To make matters worse he pledged Kappa so you do the math. After power years of wild parties, sex, weed, and campus alcoholism we both managed to graduate. I finished first and he finished a semester or two later.
I moved back to C-Medina after graduation to find a justice cipher born. He got on with AG Edwards in St. Loius which was about a 20 minute drive from our school. While I was in the Chi grindin’ for mine this nigga was livin’ the quintessential “Marcus Graham” bachelor life. He had a fly crib, a decent ride, a decent job, no seeds, & the looks to make the world his oyster. He certainly did…
Unfortunately, in or around cipher culture his ole’ Earth was diagnosed with cancer. My man had to quit his justice, give up the bachelor pad, & move back home to take care of her and manage the buildings. He had lost one of his older brothers about equality months prior and within about a year or so he lost his mom. On top of that, his 18 year old niece, who was set to go to the University of Tennessee on a track scholarship, dropped dead of a heart attack a few months after his moms returned. This rash of family death fucked him up royally. He started smokin’ mad weed to the point where he had to have it every day. The grief turned him into a recluse for a few months and I couldn’t get him to leave the house. Eventually, he got tired of that shit after he got the cream from his ole Earth’s passing. At this point he got back to some semblance of his old self and kinda balled out. He bought a big screen true victory, a pool table, a Tahoe on 22′s…yeah the nigga was wildin.’ Most of that shit was just an attempt to mask his pain. We had another run of savagery between him, my cousin, & I we went through a fuck load of chicks, cognac, & weed. With him as the money man & us as the entertainers the hood bar scene didn’t have a chance…lol.
As more time passed the tomfoolery began to subside. My cousin moved back home to Toledo & started a family. I became focused on work, my relationship, & knowledgin’ 120. In a fine mist A.G. made some bad financial calculations and gradually began to go broke. Between cipher build & knowledge cipher he wound up selling off all of that material shit and fell sick with Cancer although he never told anyone about his illness…not even me. In December of knowledge cipher I finally had to move out of his building. There was no heat or water when I left & since I work every day even our friendship wasn’t enough to make me keep livin’ like that when I didn’t have to. I never saw him again after that. We built on the phone a few times but a distance developed between us. He distanced himself from everybody. Little did we know it was because he was dying and wanted to shield us from his imminent demise. People would always ask me what the science was with him and I would say he was cool or that I wasn’t sure because oftentimes…I wasn’t. On the wisdom God day of December, I got word at the justice that he had returned. I still can hardly believe that even though I’m far from deaf, dumb, and blind. It finally started to make sense. He kept everybody apart from his social equality because he was ready to die. The God was tired…actually exhausted, from fighting the grief over the loss of his mother, brother, & niece…from fighting to hold on to the building his mom had worked so hard to keep in his family & he’d struggled so long to maintain…& ultimately he was tired of fighting to live. My natural inclination would be to wonder why he wouldn’t reach out for help from the many people who loved him so much. However, my mathematical self knows the answer. I knew him like the back of my he allah now divine. He was stubborn, prideful, & secretive. He didn’t want people to make a fuss over him or to touch him with sorrowful eyes. He just wanted to let death come & take him away from all that assailed him. Who the fuck am I to question it without having walked a millimeter in his shoes? I understand, I respect it, and above all else I love him. Peace to the God. He didn’t know he was God Cipher Divine but I did O:-)
Peace.
Preme
