There is no Mystery God: Part 3/”I Had a Dream”

Posted: November 9, 2010 in Uncategorized

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Twan played two games of Madden after Meek left for work and got his ass kicked twice. He wasn’t mad because he didn’t play like he normally would. It was becoming increasingly difficult for him to shake thoughts of the dream he had the previous night. It conjured up uncomfortable emotions within him and even scared him a little bit. He wanted to discuss it with someone but he wasn’t sure who. He decided to try the only person in the immediate vicinity.

“Isha, get up girl!” Twan loved yankin’ the covers off what ever wisdom he fucked the previous night just to get a good look at them fully naked first thing in the morning. His theory was, if he could look at her in that bad breath, “hair all over her head” state and still find her worthy of another lap in the sack, then she was potentially worthy of a roster spot on his team. “Why you do that Twaaaaannnnn, I’m sleeeepy…” At this point not only was Isha in violation of his check-out time policy, but she wasn’t serving his desired purpose. “Get yo ass up girl! I’m hungry plus I wanna talk to you about somethin.”

Reluctantly, she rose from the bed, threw on Twan’s Gale Sayers throwback Bears jersey, and tip toed toward the kitchen to start breakfast. “You want some smothered potatoes and cheese eggs T?” “You think I don’t when I do? Hook that up fa ya boy.”  Isha was one of Twan’s “regulars” and he had known her for about 6 months. She was a bust down but she was fine, she kept money, and she kept him with fly outfits. She also was a freak.

“That dick be havin’ me in a coma after all that humpin’ and sweatin. You lucky you can fuck cuz I don’t cook for everybody.” Smoove fired back. “Ain’t no luck involved, it’s science. I mastered the science of yo’ body and I got a tried and true formula along with the physical tools to apply it flawlessly. Like Meek, say you experimentin’ with high explosives fuckin’ wit’ me!”

“Whatever ole arrogant ass nigga,” Ish said as she beat eggs and cheese in a bowl. “Any way, what you wanna talk to me about?” Twan wasn’t quite sure what type of insight he would get from Isha and he typically didn’t hold intellectual conversations with his women. He assumed they were all dumb as hell and never gave any of them an opportunity to prove otherwise. Little did she know, this conversation was gonna tell Smoove more about her than he ever thought he might want to know.

“You ever had a dream that was real vivid, like so vivid it almost seemed real?” “Yeah, I think everybody does from time to time. What was yours about?” Her curiosity peaking as she inquired.

“It was wild. For some reason I was walkin’ on the Lake Front and it was early in the mornin’ just after sunrise. All of a sudden I come accross this dude. He was an older brotha’ one of them ole wise lookin’ niggaz and he had a deep ass voice. As a matter of fact he sounded just like Barry White?”

Isha was listening but she was also cookin’ so without makin’ eye contact with him she encouraged him to reveal more. “What did he say to you?” “It was weird, it almost felt like he was grillin’ me. He was askin’ me all these questions about myself and when I would answer he wouldn’t really offer up detailed replies, he would either nod, shake his head, or just ask me another question. The thing that really made it wild was this feeling I had the whole time he spoke to me. It was like he knew everything about me. I felt like he was tryin’ to tell me somethin’ without just comin’ out and sayin’ it. He asked me if I knew who I was and what my purpose was. He asked me what I would feel my life had amounted to if I died before I could answer him.”

“Did you answer him, how did you respond?” At this point Twan had an intense look on his face as if recounting the dream took him back to the exact mental space in which it took place. “Yeah, I answered him but even though he didn’t like, criticize me for my answers, I could tell he wasn’t impressed with them. I felt like I was disappointing him or somethin.’ In a real nonchalant way, he made me feel like I was a fucked up dude on certain levels while also makin’ it seem like I should be doin’ so much more. You know, like I had all this potential but just wasn’t scratchin the surface of it.”

By now the potatoes were just about done and once the eggs were scrambled breakfast would be served.Contrary to what Twan may have anticipated, the queen was now drawin’ him up as well. She had been around the block more than once and she knew how to delve into the psyche of a man and read him.

“So how do you feel about what he was trying to tell you?” In appreciation of the fact that she seemed engaged in the conversation, Twan continued to speak his mind. “It kinda makes we wanna analyze myself and get a clearer picture of who and what I am vs who and what I have the potential to be. That being said, here’s a question. How do you see me? I mean as far as the type of nigga I am in general.”

Understanding the fragile ego of the black male, Ish was careful in her approach to the question. She didn’t want to seem afraid to answer but she didn’t wanna get cussed out or slapped. Not, that Twan had ever hit her but based on her experience, there was a first time for everything. “Well, you want the raw uncut answer or the politically correct ‘spare your feelings’ answer?” “You good, speak ya mind exactly how you see it. I ain’t gon take it personal.”

“Aiight look Smoove, you a good guy at heart. I mean you fun to be around, good in bed, and you look good, but honestly, you kinda shallow.”

He was immediately taken aback. “Shallow? How so?” “I mean I been knowin’ you for like 6 months and this is the first thought provokin’ conversation we’ve ever had. You stagnant baby and you don’t gotta be. You cool to kick it wit’ and fuck from time to time but you ain’t the type of dude I could be in a relationship wit.”

Although her words didn’t really hurt him, he found them shocking, especially considering the source. She immediately closed the gap between his appraisal of himself and his appraisal of her by suggesting that he wasn’t worthy of being with her when he was convinced it was the other way around. “Ok, so why is that?” “One thing my daddy always told me was that you judge a man by what he can teach you, where he can take you in life, and how your life would be without him in it. I mean, and don’t take this the wrong way but, I ain’t learned shit from you. It’s plenty of good dick out here, I just happen to prefer yours but if I couldn’t have it all of a sudden it could be replaced. You ain’t dumb but I don’t feel smarter after having talked with you. Honestly, I only pay attention to about half of what you say because it’s mostly game. There’s very little substance.” The man was stunned. He said to himself, “This bitch got the nerve to be psycho-analyzin’ me!”

Twan decided to play a little devil’s advocate. “So if you like smart quote unquote upright niggaz why don’t you have one?” Her answer was not one that he was prepared for. “On some real shit, it’s because I know I would have to get my shit together in order to have one and there’s only so many of them out there. But I will tell you this, if I met a nigga that was worth it, I’d be willing to change for him.” Her build was briefly paused as she cut the stove off and fixed their plates. As she plopped back down in her chair & started to eat, she continued. “See niggaz like you and Kevo can keep a few little goofy hoes jockin’ ya’ll just off bein’ the typical cool southside of Chi type niggaz. But if you want some real shit with a woman you gotta stand out and stand on somethin’ like Shamiek.”

“So what you sayin’ you got a thing for my nigga Meek now, is that what I’m hearin’?”

“T that’s not what I’m sayin,’ I’m just using him as an example. I do find him attractive but as far as looks go you and Kev look better than him. But he’s the one I would wanna be wit’ out the group because of his mind. I’ve heard him speak when y’all be talkin’ and even though he wasn’t talkin’ to me I felt like I had to listen because of what he said and how he said it. When a nigga can speak to a woman and make her want to listen that shit is rare. I see how strongly and passionately he lives out his mathematics and his lessons and how he applies them unapologetically even though his culture isn’t prevalent in Chicago. That shit creates a powerful image in a woman’s mind. I see why I-Refined is so stuck on him.”

“Aside from bein’ a 5%er what he got that I don’t?” “It’s called direction Sweetheart. He works and he’s in school double majoring in mathematics and philosophy. His woman is a computer science major. In ten years they gon’ have somethin’. I don’t know what the hell you gon’ be doin’ in ten years. Probably still doin’ ya little playa thing, maybe have a couple of baby mama’s tryin’ to take you for child support. I’m just tellin’ you what I see Boo. Why you not eatin’? You not mad are you?”

“Nah I’m not mad I’m kinda glad we had this discussion. I always just thought of you as another ‘big butt & a smile’ but you got some little insight about ya self shorty.” He leaned over and whispered into her ear..”and for the record, I could be ya man if I wanna be.” Before Ish could reply he bit the left side of her neck from behind momentarily paralyzing her in a posutre complete with vaginal moisture as part of her body’s involuntary response. “Would you stop & eat ya food before it get cold. Ooohh I gotta shake that shit off…got my damn spine tinglin…’ you know that’s my spot Smoove.”

To be continued….

Preme.       

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