I’m about to say something that may rub a few people the wrong way. Regardless, it needs to be stated, and built upon, so here it is…black people hate themselves. Take a moment and let that sink in while I clearly state that I’m speaking of most, not all of us. However, I’m including a large number of you who think you don’t belong in the group. As usual, I wouldn’t dare make such a bold statement without showing and proving, so here we go. The first thing we have to address correspondent to this issue is the reality that as a people, we are damaged goods. It’s funny how a few hundred years of slavery and racism will do that to you. Within the scope of all of the above, the most diabolical thing that the devil did to us was taking away our identity. He took great pains to destroy as much of what we knew of our rich history as he could with the determined idea to disorient us and put us in a frame of mind conducive to the savage civilization into which we’ve been assimilated. Needless to say, he’s done a hell of a job. Most of us are lucky if we know more than one generation of our elders prior to our parents’ generation and if we do, more often than not, the story is like a broken record. The plot typically includes plenty of hard times, hunger of both the physical and mental variety, as well as being thrown out of doors while in the pursuit of equality. My intention is not to go off on some long sobering rant about the injustices that black people face because they are no mystery to any of us. I just wanted to touch on them at a high level in order to lay a suitable foundation upon which the message can take shape. When I speak of self hate, I’m dealing with a condition. This is a state of being rooted in dissatisfaction, with self. This is a condition which is embedded deep within the subconscious so people are often unaware of the way that they outwardly manifest it.
n. pl. selves
1. The total, essential, or particular being of a person; the individual: “An actor’s instrument is the self” (Joan Juliet Buck).
2. The essential qualities distinguishing one person from another; individuality: “He would walk a little first along the southern walls, shed his European self, fully enter this world” (Howard Kaplan).
3. One’s consciousness of one’s own being or identity; the ego: “For some of us, the self’s natural doubts are given in mesmerizing amplification by way of critics’ negative assessments of our writing” (Joyce Carol Oates).
In my estimation, the self is the unadulterated YOU…no mask, no make-up, no additives…just YOU. Earlier in the build, I stated that the devil took away our collective identity. We’ve been searching for it ever since. The problem is, in it’s absence, that vacuum has been filled with a constant barrage of suggested images representing what this globally white supremacist society says we should be. Our culture has been diluted, mixed, and tampered with to the point that it’s been reduced a token spice of diversity here or there, that simply gives some color to white dominated ciphers, and allows them to avoid discrimination lawsuits. We’ve been stuffed into a perceptual box that white people only let us out of for the rest of the world to see in the form of degrading caricatures which masquerade as the best of us, when in actuality, they are our worst foot put forward. Don’t bullshit yourself…we are backwards as fuck. Ask yourself how foolish a people must be when those among us who strive to refine themselves physically and mentally are mocked, and often ostracized. Ladies, you want to have people talk shit about you like you’re a reality tv star? Tell them you’re going natural with your hair and that you don’t eat swine no more. Listen to the dumb ass questions they ask you and the idiotic statements they make. They’ll tell you that your hair is nappy or that it looks nasty…this from women with filthy weave clumped up in their hair on top of poison infested chemicals and cheap ass gel. They’ll say shit like, “you been eatin’ pork all this time, now you think you too good for it…fuck that, I need some bacon in my life!” A sure sign of mental illness is spirited resistant reaction to anything that’s good for you or, to the suggestion that you cut down on, or abstain from, something that’s bad for you. Oh I can hear the rebuttal now…”why I gotta hate myself just because I want my hair to look nice and my food to taste good?” Here’s the science. What people don’t realize is just how programmed they really are. Many of the things you equate to personal preference or categorize as “likes” are dictated to you. There are industries called advertising and marketing, which make millions by doing so. The radio, tv, and internet tell you what to like and after you’re exposed to these suggestions everyday, all day, for so long, they begin to penetrate to the core of your psyche. You absorb the information through osmosis, and follow the direction. Consider this, children are not born liking happy meals. Trust me, the good savages at McDonalds know this. So what do they do? They build playgrounds next to the joint. They put toys in the box with the food. They bait the hook and the babies bite. The next thing you know you can’t even drive past that muthafucka without them pointing and begging for it. They’re socialized to like it, you’re socialized to give them what they like, regardless of the fact that it’s bad for them, and you give it to them. Here’s another hot button example. Newsflash, little black girls are not born wanting perms and weaves. This is a learned desire fueled by exposure to images…images of singers, actresses and other prominent women that they look up to with fake or processed hair draped down their backs. They hear their mothers, aunts, grandmothers, cousins, etc. bashing sisters with natural hair so frequently that they pick up on the negative stigma and duly note it. Dying to fit it, they fall in line. I’ve seen perm headed women turn there faces up at wisdoms with locks, short cuts, or fros. I’ve heard the degrading comments they make and the bullshit excuses relative to why they “need” to perm or put weave into their hair. The truth of the matter is that you dislike this natural part of your self. It’s not that you have a bad grade of hair, it’s not that you have a funny shaped head…it’s not any of that. You’re afraid of the unknown…afraid of being the one sheep bold enough to abandon the flock. It’s a damn shame honestly.
I bear witness to the fact that gaining knowledge of self can be scary in some ways. This is primarily due to the fact that as you begin to wake up, you find out just how much you’ve been lied to. You realize just how much information is out there which you have not been made privy to. But that’s not what it’s about. It’s about discovering your nature, and identifying who’s kept you from doing so, how, and why. Beyond that, it’s simply a matter of being willing to study, learn, and share with others. Ask yourself this, would you rather have someone else define you, or define your self? I implore you to chase down the “why” which underlies the what, as in what you like, what you think, what you eat, what you read, what you watch, what you listen to, what you teach your babies. As the list grows, do the knowledge on how many of the “why” answers represent detriment and strive to transition to a more beneficial alternative. When you consider all of the people you’re not afraid of, add your SELF to the list…hopefully you don’t bite…